When..

I don't even know where to start. It has been worst day by day. I don't know if its called insecure but so many things in my mind right now..

i) Work - So many things happened recently. It was already 3 weeks since that case, but I'm still worried and still thinking about it. Of course I'm thinking about it because it was not my fault at all. And since that day, I don't trust anybody even my own boss who said he fought for me but actually he wasn't. And since a week ago, after so much of efforts I put in, after I've done everything to them..they can said that I didn't do my job well. So much politics going on in the office now. And because my boss didn't like, and I can say that he hate the other Excom from other department, I can't be friend with peoples in that department. Until to the extend I had to lie to them that I had things to do when they called me for lunch, and I don't like this. I can say that I hate this, I can't work this way.

ii) Life - I don't know whether I enjoy my life or not. I know I have friends around me but at the end of the day, I'm still alone. I shouldn't put my emotion and feeling towards him. I should know from the beginning that it will not work out. I'm really scared. He did asked me a question, what I'm gonna do if he gets married?? And it was like a wake up call for me to realize that things not going to work out, and his question showed that he doesn't have any feeling towards me. Nis said it's not my fault, but somehow I blame myself. I always questioned myself, at this time is there any other opportunity for me to know other guy? Is there other guy out there for me? I may be sound desperate, but after so many years with the same guy, and we are not meant to be, I don't know if I can find other guy to replace him. I found a guy that I really like but as I said things didn't work out for both of us. Maybe we are just friends with the exceptional of a few things that people don't know what had happened. I just don't know what to do...and it's hurt me again.

I'm searching for a new job. Far away from here, abroad maybe. No, I'm not run away from problem or heartbreak whatsoever..but I just want to start a new chapter of my life. So many things happened and I can't take it anymore. And I'm searching for miracles perhaps......

I Would Like...

To say thank you very much for all birthday wishes from my dear lovely friends.. Eventhough I don't have a chance yet to celebrate, I mean really celebrate my birthday, but I appreciate all your efforts to call and message me on my birthday. To many names to tell, but deep inside, I'm really thankful for still alive and enjoy my life..

Facebook said something about my birthday... Hahaha just simply want to share.

Fucked Up + Birthday

The past few days was a very bad days for me. There was something happened at work that made me so upset with some peoples. For the first time I cried over the whole day and I didn't talk to anybody in my office. I only talked to people who are close to me and told them how disspointed i am and it was happened on my birthday! Can u imagine, I got all the stupid things and fucked up on my birthday?! And the feeling that when peoples didn't trust you at all? They celebrated my birthday in my office in the evening, but I didn't feel anything.
My boss asked me to go out in the evening to celebrate, and he called all my close friends to be there. Since the problem solved, and everybody tried to convince me to go, I went out with them. That one also because of my friends really wanted me to be there and I went because of them.

My second cake for that day!

To make myself occupied and not think about the issue, we took a lot of photos. And I managed to get Suren & Charles became a camera freak. Hahahaha

When alcho level already high in our body

Top; the criminals and our lips together
Bottom; "U, come take our first picture together"

My retarded friends

Im still waiting to celebrate my birthday with my extended family members. Soon ok babes!!