The Day Instead of Going To The Pub, I Went To Have Coffee

When someone suddenly cancel our supposed to be night together somewhere last week, I was so dissappointed as I already on my way there. Drove alone like nowhere to go, I was ended up in Starbucks alone that night. And I was lucky cause I brought my book to read.

While enjoying my normal beverage, I continued to read 'Ice Station' and spent my time there for almost 2 hours. I'm not used to sit alone in any coffee shop or whatsoever, but having my book around me, at least I can occupied myself and killed the time.

Sometimes, I just realized that, I need my quality time alone. I need to remind myself that at the end of the day, I'll be alone too.

The Day I'm Forcing Myself To Smile Again

I'm not feeling good and feel a bit down since the past 4 days. I don't feel like talking to anyone. And for the past 3 days I just kept myself silent. Did not tell anybody what I felt. But, with my fucked up mood, I made my friend worried about me. Then I realized its just a normal mood swing that I got every month. Is it, but why it was so different from the normal. Is it because I found out about something that I don't want to know?

During the meeting yesterday, we found out about this one village about 60km from my workplace got hit by storm on Tuesday. My boss asked me to check it out so that we can donate whatever they needed. When I was there, I kept on thinking how lucky I am. I always complaint about everything but look at them. They are fishermen, with small boat..and they got this disaster came to them. Can you imagine that.
All the way back to hotel, the face of the victims came in front of my eyes. How sad they are when they looked at their house with the wall without the roof. They make me realize, I should just thank God whatever I have now because I don't know when He wants to take back whatever He gave.
Some pictures that I took from the village yesterday.

And today, whatever happens to me, I just shall think that a lots of other peoples out there that really sad, really down, really needs help other than me. And I'm trying my best to smile again cause sometimes you just need to be with the person who makes you smile even it is means waiting....

Better In Time

Thought I couldn't live without you

It's gonna hurt when it heels too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is, I'll be fine without you
Yes, I will

I think I had move on quite some times. And I deserve to be happy for my life right? Yeah, I guess so. After all, I still got family and friends around me. No matter what, I know my family will be there for me.

Family the I rely on

And my dearest friends that always be there for me, whenever I need a shoulder to cry on, the ears to listen, and all the words that made me alive again. I'm really thankful I found that bunch of friends that I can rely on, they were with me during my ups and down. I felt happy whenever I'm with them. They tried to do a lots of things to bring back the old me. They even dragged me to Starbucks or Mc'D at the wee hours just to get me out of the house.

Besfriends that I always can count on

I've started to join a few of friends in my workplace for any after works events. I'm lucky that I have them around here since I'm alone and all my friends are not from here. And they accepted me as who I am. Everyday, we become closer, they came to my open house during raya, having lunch together, chill out after works, watched movies, partying, etc. We also had our short break to the beach just to fill up our so called boring weekend.

Short break at the beach

We even attended my boss's daughter wedding in Penang plus our short getaway. It was good and I really enjoyed my break there. We just chilled out and had fun together. And I miss that kind of break that we had. The interesting part is, I don't even remember when the last time I had so much fun and happy like this.

Penang getaway

I didn't celebrate my birthday last year because I was so down and disturbed and didn't want to meet people. All I did was sitting in my dark room and cried like there was no tomorrow for me. It was my first time birthday without him and it hurt me a lot. I went back early from work and refused to celebrate with friends not even with family. But this year is a different year for me. I celebrated my birthday with my officemate and close friends. My besfriends called me 12 midnight sharp and sang happy birthday song to me. I was so touched. My colleagues suprised me with the cake in the evening. My boss called my close friends to be in the office just to sing a birthday song for me.

Birthday in the office

After the celebration in the office, we headed to our normal pub to celebrate again. There was my second cake for that day came. Most of my close friends were there. We had so much fun, we talked, we joked, we dance, we became camera freak, and we sang like a rock stars. Hahaha what a day for me.

Second birthday celebration

And my close friends here arranged another birthday party for me together with one of our close friend birthday the following week. It was a good party where we just chilled out and have a casual talked. I was so thankful I have such a great friends. Last year I didn't celebrate at all but this year I had three party so far because I'm still waiting the right time to celebrate my birthday with my bestfriends. We will do dear, soon.

Even though I was damn depressed, emotional and heartbroken, after all I'm still enjoy my life, my work and everything that around me. Works make me occupied to just forget whatever happened to me in the past.

My work

No matter how hard it is, I'll be fine without you and I'm gonna smile again coz I deserve to. A reminder to myself; whatever your opt to do, remember its your choice, as its your life. Be thankful you have a choice to make, not given to.

Thank you to my family; dad, mum, sis, bro for all your support towards me. And a million thanks to my dearest friends; Audrey, Nis, Anes, Jotjot, Shamin, Syah, Duan, Suren, Bhav, Charles F, Charles P and wife..that make me realize that I'm still have friends around me to rely and count on whenever I need it. You guys make me realize that life is not all about past but it is all about our future. Thank you so much, and I love you guys more and more.

Someone told me, sometimes we have to let go of the things we love, in order to love. Now I understand and agree. I let him go and I move on with my life and let be the past remains as a memories...

A walk to remember and remains as memories

Project..

Been busy lately with a few projects in hand. Just finished the Hyatt Earth Project where we launched the campaign last Thursday. I got one more project to finish up within two weeks times. And it is a singular project that handed over to me, all I need to do on my own. Actually, it is an interesting project where I have to find at least eight case study related to all misconducts. Besides, I need to prepare all training materials i.e. power point presentation, handouts, etc. Fuhhh it's a lot of work need to be done prior to the training itself. I find it very interesting and make me know more about Industrial Relations.

But a lots of reading needed and the research about the cases.

What a mess

My currently law journals

I really hope that I manage to complete the project in time and get a positive feedback!