The Day I'm Losing My Mind

I can't focus. Too many things in my head. Too many things to think about. I can't do my work. I just keep on losing my focus especially today. I can't do my work at all. I don't know what I am doing. I'm not supposed to be like this, I'm not supposed to feel like this, and I'm not supposed to loss my focus.
I hate myself to be like this. I hate myself for allowing him entered my life again. I hate myself for not just keep my distance. I hate myself for everything. I kept telling myself that everything will be fine, everything will be ok. But, actually it is not. It is not fine with it. It is not ok..

I woke up today
Woke up wide awake
In an empty bed
Staring at an empty room
I have myself to blame
For the state I'm in today
And now dying
Doesn't seem so cruel
I don't know what to say
And I don't know anyway
Anymore

I hate myself for losing you
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?

You got what you deserved
Hope you're happy now
'Cause everytime I think of her with you
It's killing me
Inside, and
Now I dread each day
Knowing that I can't be saved
From the loneliness
Of living without you
I don't know what to do
Not sure that I'll pull through
I wish you knew

I hate myself for losing you
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?

I hate myself for losing you
I don't know what to do
I wish you knew
I don't know what to say
And I don't know anyway
Anymore

I hate myself for losing you
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?
What do you say when everything's said?
Is the reason why he left you in the end?
How do you cry when every tear you shed
Won't ever bring him back again?
I hate myself for loving you

I hate myself for loving you that ended up I'm losing you. Sigh. Oh God, please help me!